• ecosexual

Ecosexuals: The newest gender-identity! (video)

But…what about plant consent?

A recent piece posted on our site presented the 31 genders that New York officially recognised. It seems the authorities of the city will soon have to update their list and bump the number up by one to accommodate the newest gender identity: the ecosexual! An ecosexual is a hardcore lover of the environment who expresses their romantic feeling for Mother Earth. The ecosexuals believe they can save the planet by having sex with plants. Recently a group of nature lovers (literally) gathered in Sydney, Australia and were involved in a “vegetation orgy” called “The Ecosexual Bathhouse”. Renowned “expert” and ecosexual Amanda Morgan of the University of Nevada described the activities of a typical ecosexual thus:
“There are people who roll around in the dirt having an orgasm covered in potting soil. There are people who f*** trees, or [pleasure themselves] under a waterfall.”
Around 100,000 gender-identify as ecosexuals, one more gender that is now protected. Of course, the pressing issue of plant consent to the sexual advances of people in the woods has to be addressed first before the ecosexuals proceed in their noble quest of saving the planet by shagging trees….