Self-help books and therapists have been advising readers for decades that the key to a healthy and successful relationship is sex – and lots of it. But interestingly, a new study published in the journal for the Society for Personality and Psychology overturns such conventional wisdom, revealing that the happiest couples are those who make love on average once a week.

According to the University of Toronto-Mississauga, more sex with your partner doesn’t necessarily guarantee more happiness, more satisfaction or even more wellbeing. “People often think that more money and more sex equal more happiness, but that is only true up to a point,” claims psychologist Dr. Amy Muise who conducted the research. “I think the take-home message is that in general it is more important to maintain a sexual connection with a romantic partner, but it is also important to have realistic expectations for one’s sex life, given that many couples are busy with work and family responsibilities.”

According to the findings of the questionnaire-based study which involved a sample of 30,000 Americans over 30 years, the magic number for sex is once a week. Once. “Sex is important in relationships for bonding and feeling that your partner still fancies you, but having sex once a week is a realistic and achievable goal for busy people,” said Muise. “We still cling to the myth that we should be having sex all the time, but our bodies just aren’t built that way, and actually, you are more likely to get bored of your partner if you have too much sex.”

Most of the couples who participated in the study reported having sex on average once a week and being in a happy relationship.