How to stop being a Pushover: Five secrets from research

Is someone consistently taking advantage of you? Your romantic partner or your boss?

Do you rush around trying to do things for them but they never seem to have your back? Or is keeping up with their mood swings and meltdowns a 24/7 job? Do you find yourself doing more and more but getting less and less?

And when you try to talk to them about it in a reasonable way, do they fly off the handle or burst into tears — and nothing ever changes?

You might be a “caretaker” to someone with narcissistic or borderline traits. And that’s a really bad place to be. But there are things you can do to improve the situation.

Psychotherapist Margalis Fjelstad brings some solid answers in her book: Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder are serious mental health issues — not stuff you want to casually diagnose without a P and H and D after your name. But people who exhibit enough of the characteristics of those problems can mess up your life, even at subclinical levels.

So let’s learn the basics about these difficult folks and then find out how to stop being a pushover when you deal with them…

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