Primary Surplus

Little old lady in the village asks her husband, “What does ‘primary surplus’ mean?”

Husband replies, “In my pocket I have 6 euros, I owe the power company (Public Power Corporation) 500, the bank 1,000 and 350 euros in taxes, but I have 6 euros in my pocket! That is primary surplus.”

Greece’s capital

What’s the capital of Greece?
About 3 euros.

The haircut

A hairdresser in Amsterdam, asks a Greek: “So are you willing to accept a 50% haircut?” (Reference to a scenario to ask institutional bondholders to take 50% in losses.”

The tranche

The International Monetary Fund (IMF) could bailout Greece with another tranche of money but would rather spend its money paying the luxury hotel bills for its top fat cats.

Borrowing
Have you ever heard of the Greek version of Monopoly?
It’s called Monopolopoulos — you just borrow all the money from the bank. Everyone loses.

Recession

How do you know it’s going to be a double-dip recession?
Greek exports of taramosalata and tzatziki have plunged.

Paying off the debt

A Greek, a Portuguese and a Spaniard ask God when their countries’ debts will be paid off. God says, “In 100 years for Portugal and in 150 years for Spain.” Disappointed, they say: “But, we’ll be dead by then.” When the Greek asks, God replies, “I don’t know — I’ll be dead by then.”

U.S. President Barack Obama’s influence

* President Obama thinks it would be easy to bailout Greece from its financial woes, if only they would follow his economic plan and spend more money.
* President Obama just went to the G20 summit to give Europe advice on its debt crisis. Wait, Europe’s getting economic advice from Obama? That’s like J.Lo getting marriage advice from Kim Kardashian. – Jimmy Fallon

Who pays in the end?

* A joke in Bratislava: “For 400 euros you can adopt a Greek. He’ll stay at your place, sleep late, drink coffee, have a nice lunch and then take a nap, so you can go to work.”
* What do you give a Greek man with a scratchcard? A coin to scratch it with.
* A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese go into a bar and order a drink. Who picks up the bill? A German.

Return to the drachma

My wife looked up from her crossword puzzle. “What’s the currency in Greece?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” I replied. “I haven’t watched the news this morning.”

Unemployment rates in Greece

In Greece, employment and unemployment are the same thing. You can get a job easily, but the only problem is that no one pays you (Old Soviet-era joke)