Since the beginning of time, man has pondered over an age-old question – What is the “ideal” penis? Much ado has been made over size, girth and even the desirability of superstition. The truth is that the idea penis varies from culture to culture and according to history…

Ancient Egypt – Circumsized and dominating

The ancient Egyptians depicted their enemies in the nude to show how they had been dominated, but there’s were probably not the ideal penises. In the 3,000-year-old Turin Erotic Papyrus, the men are short with gigantic penises. It is believed that circumcision was the ideal at the time. Herodotus reported that Egyptians circumsized “for the sake of cleanliness.”

Ancient Greece – Dainty and civilized

We know from the statue that penises aren’t big and bold, but they are uncircumsized. In Ancient Greece, a civilized man was not driven by fleshy pleasures, and had a delicate and uncircumsized penis. Priapus, the fertility god, had a whopping penis but he was seen as an uncouth fun figure rather than a sophisticated lover. The foreskin was a mark of beauty for Ancient Greeks and Romans with the ideal one being three-quarters the length of the penis. However, a large size, was to be ridiculed rather than admired.

Ancient India – Different strokes for different folks

The land of the Kama Sutra believed more in compatibility than one-size-fits-all. There were three diffierent sizes: the hare (small), the bull (medium) and the horse (large). Sexual partners had to be identified so as to match. For instance, a hare male needed a deer woman, a bull had a mare paring and the largely-endowed horse needed an elephant girl. The right pairing made for the most pleasure.

Edo-era Japan – Bushy and free

Shunga art shows exaggerated genitals in both men and women to maximize impact. Penises are uncircumsized and have royal heads with popping veins. There’s plenty of public hair as well. Size, texture, fluidity were appreciated.

Henry VIII’s England

Huge padded constructions for crotches were created to show that size really did matter. The large constructions were very fashionable and looked a little like a full erection when worn as normal, everyday clothing. The French called these codpieces baguettes, and they may have been constructed to protect parts of the male anatomy during battle. These codpieces went out of fashion when Elizabeth was coronated, but size still mattered.