Emilia, marking the birthday of her father, who passed away last February at the age of 48 after a difficult battle with Colorectal Cancer that he had been fighting since 2023, posted a message on her mother’s Instagram account with advice about grief. She explained that she talks to her dad every day and tries to live according to the advice he had given her.

In the video, the 9-year-old daughter of James Van Der Beek says:

“Hello, my name is Emilia Van Der Beek. As you probably all know, my dad has passed away. But I just want to tell you a few little tips—things that might help you get through the loss of someone you love. Today is my dad’s birthday, and the most important thing when you lose someone is to talk to them and let your feelings come out.

If you miss them, you can cry. You can talk to them. I talk to my dad every day and start with a sentence: ‘Hi Dad, I miss you. I love you so much and I will never stop loving you.’ Then I tell him about my day, how I feel, and I also tell my family how I feel.

I know he can hear me, but I can’t hear him. My mom can. You just have to feel them, because they are in your heart. They are watching you, they are part of you, and they are in a good place. He doesn’t hurt anymore. He is in heaven, above the clouds, with God.

And just cry. Cry, cry, cry. You can be happy that they are in a good place, you can be sad because you miss them. You can be angry, but don’t blame yourself.”

She continued:

“And if someone tries to tell you, ‘I know how you feel, I feel worse,’ they don’t know. Everyone has different feelings inside them and expresses them in different ways. Don’t let anyone tell you something like that. Just say, ‘No, you don’t know how I feel.’

And this is hard. It will be hard. Even if you hear that someone is going to die, it’s okay. If they end up surviving, it’s a miracle. Still, everything happens for a reason.

Something my dad used to tell me was that if this didn’t turn out the way he wanted—and the way we wanted, meaning for him to live—I should still keep believing in miracles. Miracles can happen, maybe later in life, and they will keep coming. But when you want them to happen, they might not come.

And if they do leave—if they die—remember that they have some work to do on the other side. Also, something I did after my dad died is that I… ‘stole’ his hat. Take something that belonged to them and keep it. My dad’s hat smells like him and I love it so much. I honor my dad. I know he was a good person. Many people loved him and prayed for him. So many people loved him, from many places.”

Finally, Emilia spoke about the money they are trying to raise for their family, as they are facing financial difficulties:

“And also, if you donated to Kimberly Van Der Beek’s fundraiser, thank you so much. I’m really touched.”