The issue of social media and young people’s exposure to it is among the most timely and critical subjects in today’s public debate. As more and more countries introduce restrictions for those under 15 or 16, discussions tend to focus mainly on the negative impacts that online life may have on young people’s mental — and in some cases physical — health.

However, something important is often missing from these discussions: the perspectives of the children and teenagers themselves. How do they experience their daily digital lives? How does online activity affect their mental well-being? And how would they like adults to be involved? If we aim for real solutions, we need to listen to their concerns.

In this context, Leo Ziegel and Carl Fredrik Sjöland of the Karolinska Institutet conducted a cross-cultural study, presented via The Conversation, mapping the relationship between mental health and digital communication. The research was based on interviews with more than 490 young people aged 10–19 from countries including Belgium, Chile, Egypt, Indonesia, Jamaica, Jordan, China, Malawi, Switzerland, Sweden, and the United States — all during the difficult period of the pandemic.

What the study revealed

The young participants’ views painted a complex and often contradictory picture. Despite the widespread use of the internet, most pointed out that adults do not fully understand what children do online — and ironically, rarely reflect on their own digital behavior. The paradox? Young people actually want adults to take more interest in their online experiences.

A boy from Chile described how he tried to support a child he met through an online game, who confided his struggles to him:
“He talks to me six days a week about his problems. He can’t tell his parents because they dismiss them. I try to help him, but I’m not an adult who has lived through these things.”
Similar testimonies highlighted how digital communication often serves as a crucial source of social and emotional support.

On the other hand, the “darker” side of the internet also came through: stress from constant social tensions, online bullying, and excessive time spent online. For these challenges, young people said they would welcome more guidance from adults on how to navigate difficult digital experiences.

A central theme, according to the teenagers themselves, is the quality of online interactions. Positive and supportive communication has a protective effect, while negative behaviors or passive content consumption can harm mental health.

The trap of social comparison

One of the most troubling issues raised by participants was the constant comparison with celebrities and influencers. The “perfect” online image creates unrealistic life standards and reinforces harmful — often gendered — stereotypes. Girls in particular described intense pressure to meet beauty ideals, basing their self-esteem on likes and interactions.

Although many young people acknowledged that what they see online is not always real, this awareness is not enough to neutralize its psychological impact. A teenager from Sweden noted:
“Comparing yourself to other people… You don’t see their problems, only the storefront of a perfect person. And that makes you feel worse.”

The burning issue of bullying

The digital space often becomes an extension of offline bullying. Social media and group chats can turn into arenas of constant exposure. “With social media, we’re never protected from other people’s opinions,” one boy said. Many girls expressed particular concern about the risk of sexual harassment and abuse online, viewing personal data — especially photos — as potential threats.

The positive side of the internet

Despite their concerns, young people also recognized the benefits. During a period of social isolation like the pandemic, digital communication served as a bridge, helping them form new friendships, even with peers in other countries facing similar challenges. Gaming and social media often provided temporary stress relief, while anonymous support for mental health issues and access to reliable information were considered especially valuable.

To truly support young people in managing their digital lives, adults need to develop higher digital literacy — but also genuinely listen to children’s experiences and needs. Policies for a safer internet cannot be designed without involving the very users they aim to protect. They must be shaped in collaboration with young people to be modern, effective, and trustworthy.