A new trend among working women has begun to grow increasingly popular, especially in Northern European countries.
In Sweden, for example — a country known as a strong advocate of human rights — many young women are embracing the social-media trend known as the “soft girl,” which encourages women to resign from work and remain at home.
Twenty-five-year-old Vilma Larsson previously worked in a grocery store, a nursing home, and a factory. She quit her job a year ago to become a housewife and says she has never been happier.
“My life is calmer. I’m no longer constantly struggling with everything, and I’m not very stressed anymore.”
Her boyfriend works remotely in finance, and while he spends his days on his laptop, she goes to the gym, meets friends for coffee, or cooks. The couple grew up in small towns in central Sweden, but they now travel frequently and spend winters in Cyprus.
“Every month he gives me a salary from the money he earns. If I need more, I’ll ask him for it. Or if I need less, I save the rest,” the young woman explained to the BBC.
She now shares her new lifestyle on social media, where she has gathered 11,000 followers. Some of her posts have nearly 400,000 likes, although she says she does not earn income from her content.
She uses the hashtags “hemmaflickvän” and “hemmafru” (Swedish words for “stay-at-home girlfriend” and “housewife”) and describes herself as a “soft girl.”
The “soft girl” lifestyle has existed as a micro-trend on social media in various parts of the world since the late 2010s. But in Sweden, the recent popularity of the concept has caused both surprise and division.
Ungdomsbarometern, Sweden’s largest annual youth survey, highlighted growing support among Swedish youth for the soft girl lifestyle. Young people, mainly between the ages of 15 and 24, are favorable toward it, with 14% of girls aged 7 to 14 identifying themselves as soft girls.
“It’s about moving away from this ‘girl boss’ ideal that we’ve seen for many years, where there are extremely high expectations for success in every aspect of life,” Johanna Göransson, a researcher at Ungdomsbarometern, explained to the BBC.
“There are no official figures on the number of young people completely leaving work and living off their partners, but it is probably still a relatively small percentage.”
Reactions surrounding the soft girl trend
Nevertheless, the issue has sparked reactions throughout Sweden, even involving politicians.
Gudrun Schyman — co-founder and former leader of Sweden’s feminist party Feministiskt initiativ — believes that women living off their partners’ wealth is “very dangerous” and “a step backward” for gender equality.
Schyman argues that young Swedes have been influenced by the country’s right-wing coalition government, which cooperates with the nationalist Sweden Democrats party, as well as by the “broader rise” of “populism” across Europe and the United States.
She also believes many people do not understand what life in Sweden was like before policies promoting gender equality were introduced, such as heavily subsidized childcare and shared parental leave.
“Young women today do not know the history and the struggles women fought for their rights. Freedoms such as the right to work, the right to earn a salary, and the right to economic independence are taken for granted today, but many struggles took place before reaching this point.”
On the opposite side of the political spectrum, the Sweden Democrats party has responded positively to the soft girl trend.
“I believe people should decide for themselves how they want to live,” says Denice Westerberg, a youth representative for the party.
“And if you have the financial means to do that, then good for you. We live in a country that gives you every opportunity to pursue a career. We still have freedom of choice. Along with that, we also have the right to choose to live in a more traditional way.”
Beyond ideological debates, reactions have also focused on the social and cultural factors that could affect young women if they leave the workforce — or at least pursue a gentler lifestyle.
Sweden has long had a reputation for achieving work-life balance: most workers receive six weeks of vacation annually, and fewer than 1% work more than 50 hours per week.
Nevertheless, Ungdomsbarometern’s research suggests rising stress levels among young people, and Göransson believes the soft girl trend may be an extension of recent global workplace trends such as “quiet quitting,” which encourages workers not to overextend themselves and to contribute only the minimum expected at work.
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